"Admittedly I wrote most of it while drunk but expected so much more. Perhaps an IKEA voucher for those meatballs".
"Our journalists are very important to us" said the online tabloid "It keeps punters clicking on adverts for shoes and stuff."
"But why am I not already taking cocaine off the smalls of super models' backs, like those sacked Barclays people I just wrote about last time? I mean, come on guys, I didn't even do the one about two lion tamers and a wasp defibrillator." (Drunk again).
The Spoof Communications team eventually conceded that the medium of comedy is a beautiful thing and perhaps the medium itself is greater than the self-aggrandisement of a single individual?
"Self-aggrandising"? exclaimed the writer, with a mouthful of Iceland Limited Edition Atomic Vindaloo, "Me? Me at Writeclickz (WordPress portfolio, Twitter and LinkedIn), self-interested? I've never heard anything so outrageous (unless it's that excellent Dalek Sketch at the Writeckickz Word Press portofolio).