Tybee Island District Attorney, Tommy Cock, is demanding that the FDA stop giving ground breaking drugs and medical treatment to mice; but instead administer them to humans, in a poorly worded letter, mailed yesterday.
The note, filled with grammar errors, typos and spelling mistakes has been passed to this news agency; below is the transcript:
I resently (sic) read that scientizts (sic) say they have moved a step closer to being able to grow a complete human ear from a patient's cells and that the researchers had grown an artificial ear, the size of a baby's, on a mouse.
A mouse does not need a human ear on his back. This ear should go to a human, and on his hed (sic).
I also read that cancer drugs and other treatments have been given to mice - again, why are you curing cancer in mice but not reel (sic) people?
My name is Tommy Cock, and I am the District Attorney for tybie (sic) izland (sic). I am 33 and a three quarters and like cartoons. My mommy said I can now mail this lettuce(sic).
Tommy Cok(sic) DA.
Cock, who has been voted Tybee's top intellectual five years running, also believes in a man who lives in the sky who has a beard and created the world in less than a week.