"Everything seems to happen to me", stated some guy at the airport who was sitting chained to his seat and with a pair of handcuffs on. I had sat sown to wait the wife come into the airport from VChicago and I hadn't notice the guy except that there was another sitting across from him.
He looked like a security guard or an air marshall.
So I waved and politely told the man across from my talkative neighbor that I had no idea who he is.
"We don't either but he says that his wife will explain when she gets her...in about an hour."
Then the guy started again about everything happening to him.
"I get to the check in, go through the gate. Forgot my ring and when I reached for it in my pocket where I had placed it when my hand was swelling and I must have sprayed something that that Doberman loved because the next thing I knew, I was being frisked by a lady security guard and when she sat me down, the doberman made his move.
He attacked my leg like it belonged to Miley Cyrus.
Then the lady tried to get it off me and the dog turned on her and she screamed and next thing I knew, I was on the floor with six pistols pointing at me and being handcuffed.
I never hurt that lady. It was the ******** dog!"
"Oh here's Margaret. Margaret Honey, what is that spray you wanted me to pick up for your friend?"
"The spray? Oh it was to get her dogs into a romantic mood as she wants to breed them."
"What happened to you?"
"I think I'm going to have puppies."