Written by Auntie Jean
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Friday, 4 April 2014

Dick Hertz asks: Auntie Jean, my friend is a flasher I'm afraid and we are at a wedding reception across the road from an Abbey. My friend was trying to flash some Benedictine Nuns, who ran after him with a meat cleaver. He zipped the heavy duty zipper up and managed to zip his foreskin right into the zipper. can you advise please?

Auntie Jean Advises : Its probably you I think with the trapped penis. Don't be embarrased, quickly freeze the end of the weapon with some freezing spray, unzip the zipper and cauterize the wound with a red hot soldering iron. Hey Presto! Job's a good un!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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