Written by Gee Pee
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Sunday, 23 March 2014

Ellen Philpotts-Page is another Canuck who, unable to make it in Canucka, invaded the U. S., using the alias of "Ellen Page," in an attempt to become somebody. In Canucka, she tried her hand at acting, starring in My Little Pony as a horse's ass. This role led to a bit part in Trailer Park Trash, which, in turn, landed her a role in Degenerate.

Additional parts in Hard Candy and Nympho led to her being exiled by her fellow Canucks, and she immigrated to the U. S., where she starred in Smarty Peeps, Whip Me, Conception, and X-Men: A One-Night Stand. She also "acted" as a voice and provided motion picture likenesses for X-rated actor John ("Johnny Wadd") Holmes.

A self-confessed lesbian, she won an Academy Award for Best Actress for portraying a heterosexual woman in A One Night Stand.

As the daughter of a teacher and a graphic designer, Philpotts-Page said, "I had nowhere to go but up."

As a lesbian in the making, she enjoyed playing with action figures, rather than dolls, and climbing trees. "I was quite a tomboy," she admits. "Usually, she added, that's an early indication, in girls, that they will grow up to like other girls, as is the case with me."

"Did I mention that I'm a lesbian?" Philpotts-Page asked, with a wink.

Despite her efforts as an actor, she is best known for being a homosexual.

Page is only 27, however, and may change her mind about being gay, "just like Anne Heche did," she admitted, "if the right gay guy comes along."

She once dated Alexander Skarsgard, who was "almost sexy enough to turn me," Page gushed, but she found The X-Men's Kitty Pryde just "too tempting" and knew that she could never "know joy with a boy" after her relationship with Pryde.

In addition to the films mentioned above, Philpotts-Page has also appeared in these movies:

The Wet Ones
Touch and Glow
Love That Boyish Girl
Mouth to Mouth
One More Time
Clit Bit
Pussy Fever
No Boys Allowed

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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