Written by Gee Pee
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Friday, 14 March 2014

"She" used to wipe and diap U. S. President Barack Obummer. "I powdered his sweet milk-chocolate behind," Evie, a Jackoff, Indonesia, transgender "nanny," confirmed recently. "I bathed him after he went wee wee."

Evie was the then-future president's primary caregiver from 1969, when Obummer was eight, to "I don't know when." At the time, Evie, now 66, was "but a young thing" of 14. "Some thought we were too close in age for me to be his nanny," Evie confesses, "but we were just close."

Although Obummer's mother, Stanley, is white, his father, Barack, Sr. is black, so their son is half and half. "In Jackoff, we call them mulattoes," Evie said.

Shortly after their child was born, the couple separated, and Evie says "she" helped to raise Obummer.

Before "she" cared for Obummer, Evie said, "she" had no friends and "her" family shunned "her." "In Muslim countries, people are not tolerant of transgender folks," "she" explained.

"She" used the meager salary that "she" received from Stanley to purchase feminine attire. "I couldn't afford The Operation," "she" admits, "so I settled for cross dressing."

Since "her" past association with Obummer was outed, Evie has become something of a local celebrity, "she" says, and has been offered a job as a cook and a maid. Most importantly, "she" will be allowed to wear a dress to work.

Although Evie expressed a desire to hear from "her" former charge, Obummer has not reached out to "her." Evie supposes that the president might feel embarrassed about having been nurtured by a transgender nanny during his formative years. "He's on the down-low about it, I guess," Evie says.

After Obummer left "her" care, Evie took in neighbors' dirty laundry and worked as a prostitute. Soldiers, "she" says, beat "her" and others of "her" ilk. "It gave them something to do between wars," "she" says.

Since "her" association with Obummer became known, Evie has reconciled with "her" family. "They think I might get a little money out of the publicity," "she" says, "so now they are my 'family' again." "Her" real affections, however, "she" declares, "are for Barry," the nickname that "she" and Stanley called Obummer when he was "a brat."

"He had such cute buns!" Evie recalls, giggling.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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