These Top Ten Ways to lose weight are easy as falling off a log. (Guess I better take that one off).
1. Always sleep on a vibrating bed.
2. Go Over A Fence that has a warning sign, "Dozen Bulls Horny Here!"
3. Crap on your food.
4. Easiest Push-Ups! (Pushing Up Daisies)
5. Snack on salted packing peanuts!
6. When introducing yourself at 'Get Acquainted Singles Meet', "Hello, my name is George and the belly here, is Lenny."
7. Moon Mafia Bosses!
8. Dye all your food purple before eating it.
9. Have someone hide your fork between bites.
10. Serve food on regular plates instead of in the trough!