Written by Gee Pee
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Monday, 10 March 2014

Manboobs: are they appealing or appalling?

Several celebrities consider them to be...well, both.

That is, they think their own are just lovely, but they find other male celebrities hooters loathsome.

Steven Tyler, who looks more and more like an old lady every day, has sprouted some B cups that joggle when he jogs (something he doesn't do nearly enough, judging by the state of his mammaries). To say that his breasts look incongruous with his gold necklaces and tattoos is an understatement, but Tyler himself thinks his manboobs are "manly and magnificent."

Jack Nicholson, looking more toad than human these days, has developed some c-size boobies, and, although they are quite a handful, they don't do anything to improve his grizzled appearance and the pregnant-size belly he totes around with him, between feedings at his favorite restaurants, of which, judging by his looks, are number aplenty.

David Hasselhoff's pecs are so full, high, and round, if not exactly firm, that they give a whole new contour to his shirt, not only threatening to pop his buttons but also giving him pokies for which a lot of female celebs would kill.

Regis Philbin has only A-cup size tits, but they're repulsive enough that any contract he might land to host-or hostess-another television talk show should definitely include a no-nudity clause.

Hulk Hogan may think he's turning women green with envy with his hairy hooters, but it's not envy that's making the ladies go green, Hulk.

Russell Crowe, regardless of what your significant other says, your teats are nothing to crow about, either: get over yourself and see a plastic surgeon-someone who specializes in gyneocomastia-before it's too late.

Charles Barkley, if we didn't know better we'd think you must have swallowed a couple of basketballs. Get back on the court, and work those bad girls off!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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