Written by Patrick Parkinson
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Thursday, 6 March 2014

image for Why has no one punished Russia for what they did to Sandra Bullock in "Gravity"?

Russia hasn't been a popular country over the last week or so with the world. Their passing of the anti-gay legislation, their illegal invasion of the Crimea. However somewhere lost amongst the chaos, there has been an issue that no one has even thought about addressing, perhaps because we're so blinded by liberal rage. I'm of course talking about the Russian's poor treatment of Sandra Bullock in this years Oscar winning film "Gravity"

Director Alfonso Cuaron spent four years filming his documentary "Gravity" which tells the unbelievable true story of Hollywood actress Sandra Bullock as she ventures into space for the first time since deciding on her spectacular career change. My first thoughts on this film, didn't even exist - as my mind was literally speechless. Then my second thoughts on this amazing movie were "wow! What a great movie!" Then my third thoughts were "how was this not reported in the news?"

Well done to Sandra by the way, for giving up her materialistic lifestyle to try her hand at repairing space telescopes whilst wearing astronaut diapers. Spoiler Alert - During her time above earth the astronauts get a warning that the Russians have destroyed their own satellites and the debris was hurtling towards them. Bullock does everything she can to return to earth. (I'm surprised Hollywood didn't send another shuttle up to save her, considering how much money they make - Capitalist pigs!)

Russia's careless actions are disgusting, surely they were breaking some international space law when they blew up the satellites (do space laws exist?) Did it not occur to them to check that there were no Oscar winning actresses in the path of danger of debris before destroying the satellites? Probably not. She barely escaped!

When the Russian leader is brought to justice for his crimes against the Ukrainians, as they are taking him away with his hands and legs bound, I hope one solitary prison guard or member of Interpol approaches him and hands him a blu-ray copy of Alfonso Cuaron's "Gravity", so that he can see his recklessness first hand. (Someone might have to put it in the DVD player for him to watch, as he'll be wearing handcuffs)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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