In this edition of Popular Pornography...
->0 Are Bed Vibrators a Thing of the Past? 0<-
Recent reports from cheap, sleazy motels across the nation suggest that the long history of coin-operated bed vibrators may be coming to an end. With the cost going from a quarter to, in some cases, as high as $1.50, the business of shaking mattresses appears to be winding down.
Cissy Filler, of Sensual Vibrations Inc. in Camden, New Jersey explains it this way, "Today's quicky bed bounce has begun to take on an even more speedy demand. People barely have time to bare their bods, apply various implements associated with neutral zone violations before they have to be back out in traffic to get home or to work. Bed vibrators hardly get a chance to shake loose even a few pubic hairs before the wham-bam, thank you ma'am is hammed and slammed."
Elsewhere, out on the lost coast, Arty Lipsmack who is the proprietor of the Thunderthigh Inn just outside of San Diego had this to say, "In all of last year's collections from the sensual mechanisms, we counted less than $30 total on bed vibrators. We have 18 rooms, fully equipped with other items as well, like oozing jacuzzis and shafting shower heads. The shaky mattresses are not making money!