Written by Gee Pee
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Thursday, 27 February 2014

Another Canuck, "actress" Mercedes McNab, "not a bad-looking chick," says Hugh Humpher, publisher of Playboy magazine, in which she appears modeling her birthday suit, played Harmony Kendall in the television series Buffet the Vampire Player. In the same series, she later played a vampire named Harmony KenDodall (don't ask; it's not only complicated, but it's also asinine). Since then, she has appeared mostly in Playboy, although she has also been seen on horror movie casing couches and in Humpher's bed.

An only child, McNab is the daughter of English "footballer" Bob McNab, which may explain why her mother wishes to remain anonymous.

McNab came to Hollyweird's attention in a bit part, playing a Girl Scout who sells cookies to the Addams Family, Angelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, and other never-were or once-were celebrities.

Despite this inauspicious beginning, McNab developed a lovely pair of large breasts, an ample bottom, and a fairly attractive face, which allowed her to win naughty bit parts in additional "films."

Although she auditioned for the role of Buffet, she lost out to Sarah Michelle Gellar, but was cast, nevertheless, as Harmony KenDodall, part-time student and full-time vamp. She was also an occasional "guest star" on the Buffet spin-off Angel, starring Buffet's cast-off cast members.

McNab is known for her breasts, her buttocks, and her ability to scream. In fact, as a "scream queen," McNab has shattered glass (and eardrums) in such films as Hatchet, Hatchet 2, Psych, and Supernatural. She is best known, however, for her screaming during fake orgasms in "adult" films. Some of her more "rousing" roles, she believes, are showcased in The Hairy Pair, The Fantastic Foursome, Gone Pink, Hot Rod, Thrust, and Round Heels.

To prove her heterosexuality, McNab married Mark Henderson in a private ceremony in La Spasz, Mexico, shortly after which she gave birth and gave up "acting."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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