Written by Wumf
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Saturday, 8 February 2014

image for Twenty Reasons Why Salad Bars Are Scary People who pick up salad with their fingers

1. mayonnaise

2. slimy brussel sprouts

3. crab salad with red and white imitation crab

4. people who pick up salad items with their fingers

5. people who put back salad items with their fingers

6. little kids who are shorter than the sneeze guard

7. lickers and tasters

8. containers with contents that are almost used up

9. anchovies

10. days old mushrooms

11. dried up shredded cheese

12. beet juice in the cottage cheese

13. bits of tuna fish in the fruit salad

14. salad dressing with lumps

15. brown lettuce

16. unripened pineapple slices

17. soggy cucumbers

18. fatty bacon bits

19. unidentifiable "unique" salad mixtures

20. mayonnaise mixed in anything (see #1)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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