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Saturday, 1 February 2014

image for Wendy Davis Releases More Details about Her Life

Austin, Texas: Following on her claim to be "more focused on the detail," Wendy Davis disclosed more information today about her amazing life story. Below are some of the previously unknown details, listed in no particular order of importance.

She dated Elvis, O. J. Simpson, George Clooney, and JFK, Jr. at the same time.

She was a stealth member of Seal Team Six on the Bin Laden kill mission.

She invented the Internet.

She scoped out the extent of NSA spying and tipped off Edward Snowden.

She tutored Martha Stewart on home decoration and home wares design.

She was named "Mother of the Year" by the Remote Parenting Institute.

She is the lead Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.

She is now dating Donald Trump.

She is an inside adviser to the Hillary Clinton campaign, consulting on perceived veracity.

She is currently close to identifying a cure for ovarian cancer in her part-time work at Sloan-Kettering.

She thinks Alan Dershowitz is "hunky."

She really wants her prospective governorship to be a "peace bridge" between Texas, the Left Coast, and the People's Republic of Cambridge, Mass.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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