1. Make sure to keep tissues handy to collect dog breath condensation on car windows.
2. Put ice cubes back in freezer after using.
3. Collect dew from dewey-eyed starlets in Hollywood.
4. Follow Governor Brown's example and forego showering.
5. Require all foreign tourists to bring a minimum supply of five liter water bottles.
6. Ban wet t-shirt contests.
7. Try to drink as much sea water as possible.
8. Wring extra drinking water from cactii. (Remember to use gloves!)
9. If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown, flush it down, if its red, call a doctor.
10. Teach fish to walk and breathe on land.