An increasing trend in US cities is to re-brand their image to spur interest and create media "buzz." Here is a recently complied list of some notable examples, recently leaked to our Features desk by various metro insiders. Perhaps some cities need better PR consultants!
ATLANTA - Superficialopolis - as good as it gets.
BOISE, ID - Always a potato party goin' on!
BOSTON - Freely giving welfare to terrorists.
CAMBRIDGE, MA - Where lefties squeeze and spout silly views.
CHARLESTON, W. VA - We're squeezin' corn an' sippin', so c'mon in!
CHICAGO - Your principles are no good here.
DALLAS - Oily glitz sticks good, you'all.
DENVER - Now pot in every pot along with a pisshead.
DES MOINES, IA - Your Life. Dullified.
DETROIT - Come share your bankruptcy with ours!
FAIRBANKS, AK - Backgrounds don't matter here.
FARGO, ND - Where natural and methane gas meet… and dance.
GATLINBURG, TN - Dolly's mountainous regions.
IOWA CITY, IA - Stale barnyard puddle of hapless ex-English graduate students.
LOS ANGELES - Continuous concrete festival of LaLa tackiness.
LAS VEGAS - Your Money. Gone.
LOUISVILLE, KY -- Smelly horses, bourbon-filled boors, and babes in dopey hats -- the choice is yours!
MADISON, WI -- Where lefties squeeze smelly cheese.
MIAMI - 24-7 Third World Carnivale.
MINNEAPOLIS - An infectious elixir of snow and ice.
NEW ORLEANS - Where all squeeze sleaze.
PHILADELPHIA - Birthplace of American freedom. Death center for babies.
PHOENIX - Where the sun should always set sooner.
RICHMOND, VA - Plenty of monuments for pigeons to poop on!
SAN FRANCISCO - Fruit & nut market of the Western Hemisphere.
SEATTLE - Garage band rehabilitation/recovery center.
VICKSBURG, MS - Still pissed at Grant!
WASHINGTON, DC - Fecal matter production and dissemination at the Summit.