Written by Trinculoman
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 26 January 2014

image for Major US Cities in Re-Branding Move to Spur Interest and Create Buzz

An increasing trend in US cities is to re-brand their image to spur interest and create media "buzz." Here is a recently complied list of some notable examples, recently leaked to our Features desk by various metro insiders. Perhaps some cities need better PR consultants!

ATLANTA - Superficialopolis - as good as it gets.

BOISE, ID - Always a potato party goin' on!

BOSTON - Freely giving welfare to terrorists.

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Where lefties squeeze and spout silly views.

CHARLESTON, W. VA - We're squeezin' corn an' sippin', so c'mon in!

CHICAGO - Your principles are no good here.

DALLAS - Oily glitz sticks good, you'all.

DENVER - Now pot in every pot along with a pisshead.

DES MOINES, IA - Your Life. Dullified.

DETROIT - Come share your bankruptcy with ours!

FAIRBANKS, AK - Backgrounds don't matter here.

FARGO, ND - Where natural and methane gas meet… and dance.

GATLINBURG, TN - Dolly's mountainous regions.

IOWA CITY, IA - Stale barnyard puddle of hapless ex-English graduate students.

LOS ANGELES - Continuous concrete festival of LaLa tackiness.

LAS VEGAS - Your Money. Gone.

LOUISVILLE, KY -- Smelly horses, bourbon-filled boors, and babes in dopey hats -- the choice is yours!

MADISON, WI -- Where lefties squeeze smelly cheese.

MIAMI - 24-7 Third World Carnivale.

MINNEAPOLIS - An infectious elixir of snow and ice.

NEW ORLEANS - Where all squeeze sleaze.

PHILADELPHIA - Birthplace of American freedom. Death center for babies.

PHOENIX - Where the sun should always set sooner.

RICHMOND, VA - Plenty of monuments for pigeons to poop on!

SAN FRANCISCO - Fruit & nut market of the Western Hemisphere.

SEATTLE - Garage band rehabilitation/recovery center.

VICKSBURG, MS - Still pissed at Grant!

WASHINGTON, DC - Fecal matter production and dissemination at the Summit.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

58 readers are online right now!

Go to top