Following are the Top Ten Quickies from 2013. We hope you find them amusing.
1. I have flabby thighs but at least my big fat belly and huge ass hide them.
2. They say that married men live longer. I think it just SEEMS longer.
3. My favorite machine at the exercise center is the snack machine.
4. I've been on so many blind dates that I should get me a seeing-eye dog.
5. Seldom do you see TV families watch TV or stay on Facebook all day.
6. What's the latest dope on wall street? You're looking at him.
7. What does one send to a sick florist?
8. Honesty is the best policy on a date. Those who will go out with you after "I need to go powder my banana" at the restaurant will go out with you again.
9. Same as above but a bigger test: "I need to go see a can about a log."
10. We need to relax more like our pets. You ever hear a dog ask a cat, "What time is it, anyway?"