Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 14 January 2014

image for The Top 10 Headlines of 2013 This Volkswagen Beetle has 3 million miles on it.

The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency based in Chicago has compiled a list of the top 10 headlines of 2013.

ADGA Spokesperson Bagby B. Buckleybox stated that he sat down with several entertainment publications and news agencies and went over thousands of headlines.

The group that Buckleybox met with consisted of Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo, Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight, Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors, Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily, and Voodoo Dupree with Glamboyant Magazine.

And Here Are...

THE TOP 10 HEADLINES OF 2013

  • The U.S. Government To Outlaw Liposuction
  • President Obama's Stolen Teleprompter Has Been Found In Mexico
  • A 7-Foot-10-Inch High School Sophomore Scores 193 Points In A High School Basketball Game
  • A Taliban General Plotting To Kidnap Sarah Palin Arrested In Wasilla, Alaska
  • Stacy Keibler Announces She May Get Back Into Wrestling
  • Iowa May Legalize Marijuana
  • Al Qaeda Offers To Lend Detroit $7 Billion
  • A Delaware Woman Arrested For Flying A Drone Over The White House
  • The NFL Plans To Ban Biting
  • A Wyoming Woman Has A Volkswagen Beetle With 3 Million Miles On It

    HONORABLE MENTION: Tennessee Votes To Make Twerking Illegal

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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