Portly but diminutive dictator Kim Jong-Un, who never told a doughnut no, was in a "husky boys" clothing store when he was spotted and interviewed by our reporter, who managed to telex this story to us before her mysterious disappearance.
We were told by our ever present guides to pretend Mr. Kim the Dictator wasn't standing on a stool whenever he addressed us.
This wasn't hard, since the guards would slap our eyes with a bamboo rod any time we looked down anywhere near the stool.
Mr. Kim started talking and told a joke; at least we figured it was a joke since everyone burst out laughing for about five minutes, and then applauding for another ten minutes. Then he mentioned his late father. This brought forth loud lamentations from every quarter of the store for about a half hour.
When Kim mentioned his grandfather Kim Song Il, the crowd cried another half hour for him. Finally, the tailors finished measuring the little teapot shaped despot and fit him with some clothes that everyone assured the portly prince looked wonderful on him.
Everybody is familiar with Kim Jong-Un's wife, the only girl who dated Kim that is still around. One of his ex-girlfriends was executed for "making a porn movie." But Mr. Kim, the husky hellion, is always at his happiest when he is with his good friend Dennis Rodman.
"He has Dennis Rodman's pictures all over his room," said a spokesperson who did not wish to be identified.