Once again this year I have singlehandedly saved the world on many occasions. I was able to stop people being in poverty and get myself a nice new hat. I have also found the cure to AIDS, HIV and Cancer so I will be saving all of those people next year.
I would like to thank my friends in the Irish and British governments who looked the other way when I put all my money through a Dutch investment scheme so as not pay tax in either Ireland or the UK. I can confirm that this means I have saved three Dutch bankers from not getting a multi million euro bonus. So another victory for me in the war on poverty.
Next year I aim to raise my profile by remastering all of U2's back catalogue and using new art work that shows more pictures of me. I think it is about time that when people this who is the king of Rock and Roll they say Bono not Elvis. I created modern rock music and I am more important than Elvis, The Beatals or The Stones put together.
However before I can do that I have to have another operation on back, by doctor says I need to stop shoving my head so far up my own arse in future.
Happy Bonomas to you all