Mr. Completely asks:
Dear Auntie Jean, I am trapped in a McDonalds toilet in Liverpool with my arse well and truly superglued to the porcelain W.C. Someone spread the glue all over the W.C. and like a fool I just sat down on it.
I am permanently welded to the toilet bowl now and what's worse is that there's no door on the cubicle and I nipped into the women's loo as the men's was full.
Auntie Jean replies:
Calm down Mr. Completely!
Its likely that the staff will take care of you over the next week, by which time the glue will have softened and you will be able to stand up and go home.