Auntie Jean advises D. Void O'Nuts.
"Auntie Jean, my nuts were sliced off by a broken piece of glass fibre on a Water Park slide this morning. The lifeguard retrieved them for me and packed them into a medium fizzy orange carton with ice. I have a day off next week and wondered whether to freeze them until then, when I can get to the casualty department. I know to keep them away from the dog and to keep them on ice, have you any recommendations please?"
Auntie Jean Advises:
Hi, Ms.D. Void. You must cut a pouch in each thigh muscle and place one testicle in each. If they are still frozen you can microwave them for a few minutes. Seal the testicles into their respective pouches, left or right with sterilised needle and thread and they will remain healthy for several years.