Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 15 December 2013

image for My Cellphone's Demand: "I Want a Selfie" Sam the cellphone is a star!

Sam, my cellphone, hadn't been working well lately, and now I know why.

Blurred photos and bad connections had become routine. I complained about this in a phone call to my friend the other day. A few minutes later, I got a text message FROM my cellphone. Yep, you read that right. All text messages go through the cellphone of course, but this one was FROM Sam, my cellphone. Here's what Sam said:

It's all abt U. Am sick of taking selfies 4 U all the time. What abt me? I want 2 take a selfie of ME. No can do. No cellphone can. Phooey.

I texted back:

Sorry Sam. Will take a photo of U with my other cellphone and send it 2 U.

Answer from Sam:

Yr 2nd cellphone is 2nd best. But OK. Give me an hr to spiff up. Then take my photo. Will not B a real selfie but better than nothing.

I followed the instructions and things have returned to normal. Sam is behaving again. Whew!

But I'm not pushing my luck. For now, I've laid off the selfies. Probably a good thing. Am noticing more about the world around me, since I'm not focusing on me.

Oops, just got a text from Sam demanding that I bring him to see Santa Claus ("the only REAL Santa") at Macy's. Oy!

Thoreau was right: "Men have become the tools of their tools."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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