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Friday, 13 December 2013

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Sheldon- The Gold Standard For Geekdom.

Words alone cannot describe the wonderfulness of Sheldon Cooper.

The main star of the television series 'The Big Bang Theory' has set the new bar high for all those nerdists who will surely follow in his footsteps hereafter.

He is the penultimate geek, the very pinnacle of nerdism that is humanly possible outside of becoming a cyborg.

He is the gold standard for hyper intellectuality, a paragon and a goal for those who wish to become a master nerd, a Brahma of brains, a Maharishi of mentality, a Doctorate of Dweebishness, the absolute nadir of nerdism, a Galactus of geekiness.

The slow process of evolution has taken us from amoebas to apes, then made that cosmic leap from chimp to man, then jumped from Neanderthal to troglodyte to modern man (watch '2001- A Space Odyssey' five times to get the idea). Now Sheldon makes the leap to the cosmic man (just like the blue space baby in the ending of 2001) and mankind itself has grown another notch because of it.

Sheldon typifies all that is superior in the true geek- a sharpened mind that can rarely be argued with, a love for solitude, study, the sciences, all things mental (outside of sports statistics), books, learning and not-to-be-forgotten: video games. He has evolved beyond the need for human social circles, is fine alone and does not have the weakness of needing a woman (or a man, knowing that that accusation is forthcoming being as how this is America and any man not needing a woman is automatically accused of being gay). He has his mind and his health and his career- who needs any more than that?

He is heroic in having overcome the trials of his childhood- a fundamentalist mother, nuggie and swirlie giving bullies, social ostracism, being misunderstood, being prohibited by local authorities from enriching his own uranium and other setbacks. Despite these difficulties he has succeeded in becoming the emblem of the future man- one who can come up with a mental rationalization for all things at any time and any place. A being not only triumphant in applying mind over matter, but mind over everything else in life as well.

How can a man who went to the university at age 11, graduated at 14, possessing two PhD's and having an I.Q. of 187 not be considered anything less than a superhero? He could have a t-shirt made with his own likeness emblazoned upon it just like the other comic hero ones he likes to wear: 'Intellect-man!' Bazinga!

Some, well, actually, many have a problem with his self-absorption and arrogance. But how can that be withheld from someone who is so perfect? Who else should he be absorbed in- a lesser fellow human being? Hardly! When one is as wonderful as him he should be allowed to be somewhat arrogant. Hasn't he earned it? If he doesn't blow his own horn who will do it for him?

Humanities onward march towards true nerdheit has at last its leader!

Hats off to you Sheldon Cooper! I go out now to once again find a small, carbon based mammal to sacrifice at the alter I have set up for you next to my TV set.

Live long and prosper!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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