I have been keeping my sperms since I was 14 years old, since asking my father what it was that was coming out of there. He told me to save it for when I was married. I am 67 years old and have never married, although I have accumulated about seven gallons of it in a plastic barrel.
Similarly my ear wax has been saved in an old bucket since about the same time. I would hate to throw away these waste products in such times of austerity and wondered if you knew of any specialist recycling centres for these materials?
Auntie Jean Replies:
What an excellent idea. I can't see any problems with your plans. You must send them 2nd class post to 10 Downing Street before the last posting date for Christmas.
Porn cinemas send the swept up dirty tissues there from all over Europe. They have up to date facilities there for the re-distribution and recycling of both sperms and ear wax.