Written by rfreed
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Sunday, 1 December 2013

image for Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese See New York VERY Differently New Yaulk

New York has always fascinated the writer, the artist, the poet and the thousand of gawking tourists who hang around outside the Good Morning America show hoping they'll get filmed for their family to see back in Wichita. But everyone sees the Big Apple with a different eye. Two of the cities biggest believers, Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese, seem to be viewing it from different planets. Just how the city that never sleeps compares between the two film directors makes it obvious they grew up in different parts of town and in different cultures and with different mothers.

NEW YORK AS SEEN IN THE MOVIES OF:

WOODY ALLEN: Guy meets girl - guy has humorous experience with girl - girl splits.

MARTIN SCORCESE: Guy meets girl - girl rips guy off - guy splits girl in half.

ALLEN: The normal family is neurotic and has hang ups.

SCORCESE: The normal family is Mafia and has hold-ups.

ALLEN: The main character gets beat up by life but comes out laughing in the end.

SCORCESE: The main character gets beat up by his own gang and comes out bleeding in the end.

ALLEN: New York is seen as a center for romance and unlimited possibilities.

SCORCESE: New York is seen as a center for bromance and unlimited heists.

ALLEN: Everyone is trying to establish some sort of relationship with the world around them.

SCORCESE: Everyone is trying to establish their relations in the neighborhood around them.

ALLEN: The city is a backdrop for beautiful, romantic interludes.

SCORCESE: The city is a backdrop for beautiful rum and tonic interludes.

ALLEN: New York seems like the hub of the world and steals your heart.

SCORCESE: In New York you start out by stealing hubcaps with all your heart.

ALLEN: The female lead is a beautiful, unattainable girl next door.

SCORCESE: The female lead is a beautiful 14 year old attainable in front of cheap hotel doors for $20.

ALLEN: Jewishness is seen as a social hindrance.

SCORCESE: Being Italian is seen as being a ticket to being in with the big boys.

ALLEN: The girls won't hit on guys with glasses.

SCORCESE: The thugs sometimes won't hit guys with glasses (but only sometimes).

ALLEN: Being a nerd is seen as being a mark of sensitivity.

SCORCESE: Being a nerd is seen as being a mark.

ALLEN: Being considerate and sensitive is seen as being fairly nice characteristics.

SCORCESE: Being considerate and sensitive is seen as being the characteristics of a fairy.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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