Written by Auntie Jean
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Tags: Pork

Sunday, 1 December 2013

image for Auntie Jean Advises - Howie Feltersnatch from Cockermouth Preparing a Wild Boar pasty

Auntie Jean:

I would like to keep a male Wild Boar in the house for a pet and to teach it to find truffles. I have chosen a male pig because I have heard that the Wild Boar sows suffer from extreme PMS.

I understand that many celebrities have Pot Bellied Pigs as domestic pets and know that they are basically clean animals and can be taught to go outside to do their poo and stuff. I intend to sell any truffles perhaps to Fortnum and Masons in Barnsley at 20% below retail price and to sell the Wild Boar at its optimum age to Harrods of Scunthorpe. Are there any hints that you could give me please?

Auntie Jean Replies:

What an excellent idea. I can't see any problems with your plans.

Auntie Jean

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