Written by Auntie Jean
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Saturday, 30 November 2013

image for Auntie Jean Advises - Barry McCociner from Grinstead invasion Force Squadron leader

Barry McCociner asks:

Auntie Jean:

I have recently discovered secret messages on Tomato Sauce bottle labels.

These messages form part of a code which, when you take the 3rd letter of each word and assemble the whole string of letters and reverse them, reveal top secret instructions about preparing a landing site for the forthcoming invasion of earth by aliens from the planet Zod.

I don't want to be "sectioned" again so this time have not told the police about it. What should I do Auntie Jean?

Auntie Jean replies:

You need urgent help, Barry. I am receiving instructions from the same Aliens, contained in cunningly encrypted codes on the ingredients list of mayonnaise free egg and cress sandwiches.

You cannot prepare the spaceship landing site on your own and must once again go down to the Police Station. I have telephoned them to say you are coming and that they are not to try to re-capture you.

Auntie Jean

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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