Written by Auntie Jean
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Friday, 29 November 2013

image for Auntie Jean Advises - Cantsia Weiner from Glasgow Once long and complicated, now easy DIY procedure

Transgender Op Reversal

Auntie Jean:

I have had a sex change using guidance from a DIY website. After sending a Western Union transfer to Asomal Ian Pyreat purportedly in Nigeria. a photocopy of two pages from Greys Anatomy, a boxcutter, a blowtorch and a mini tube of superglue arrived. I followed the instructions but next door's dog ran away with my testicles. I have changed my mind now. Can I cut that bastard dog's bollocks off and graft them into what's left of my scrotum, superglueing the scrotum together again?

Auntie Jean Replies:

Yes, Cantsia. These days, with the quite miraculous "stitch eliminating properties" of superglue, this procedure is one of the easiest genital reconstructive operations that exists. Just use the Grey's Anatomy photocopies and take photographs at each stage to post on Youtube.

Auntie Jean

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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