I have a personal problem which I can hardly bring myself to mention. I'm afraid to admit that when short of money recently I did the unthinkable and went down to the Docks area to try to earn some money. I knew that the means of earning cash for services rendered was still available, and that my advancing years may work against my ambitions.
So I made my way to the sperm donation suite at B.E.P.A. in the Dock area. I was made welcome with the greatest of courtesy. I managed to negotiate on a payment per sperm basis, a potentially vast sum of money. The down side of this is that I only now really fancy sperm collecting equipment. I have tried to satisfy my needs in this area by looking on internet porn sites with very comprehensive categorisations to no avail. What can I do Auntie Jean?
Auntie Jean Replies
My poor dear Hugh, you must realise that this is a very common problem. When you think for a moment, how many sperm donors are there worldwide? You must go back to the clinic and ask them for a glassware catalogue. The Pyrtex range is the sexiest.
Just a spot of advice Hugh: In these liberal times there is no need to marry glassware and there is no stigma attached to simply having your way with it and leaving a thank you note in the morning. If you wish to start a meaningful relationship with a glass receptacle you should prepare yourself for the brutal fact that any relationship with a glass vial or dish is almost certainly going to be a very one sided affair and a fragile one too.
I hope this helps Hugh, perhaps one day you and your glass dish could come down for coffee with us all at the Spoof building .