1. Portal Potties everywhere you look.
2. Captain's hat made out of tinfoil.
3. Shuffleboard uses a leftover upper plate.
4. Cooks all fishing from the deck.
5. Instead of Lifeboats, there's old blown up inner tubes that look like they came off of a Studebaker.
6. A dozen people sick and hanging over the rail and you haven't left port yet.
7. The old guy that keeps flirting with you has an eye patch, a wooden leg and the skeleton of a parrot on his shoulder.
8. The young man taking care of you in your cabin is named Gilligan.
9. The Captain's Table is a fold out card table.
10. The Maitre de smokes a pipe, has one eye, laughs funny and is always recommending the spinach.