Top 12 Rules from Grannies that you should have listened to!
Though it's too late now.
12. Always use a fine tooth comb on pubic hair when you shower.
11. Always wear clean underwear when you go out in case someone uses mirrors on top of their shoes.
10. Allow parents to take off the training wheels only after you pass the test for your drivers license.
9. Never teach your pet parrot to say "Your Ass Is Fat!"
8. Always apologize for gas attacks on elevators, at funerals, weddings.
7. A small amount of whiskey on the gums of your crying baby who is cutting teeth will numb it, plus you will sleep well if you finish off the bottle.
6. Don't TRY to get your baby to cry over cutting teeth. Ten bottles of whiskey are not needed.
5. Never shower with the linemen and center after the football game.
4. Never ask your Granny about those extra round things just above her knees when she wears pants to WalMart.
3. "Take extra 'person pills' when you go on your honeymoon."
2. Never do the Bunny Hop after you reach my age. Someone could lose an eye.
1. Never take your teeth out for Bingo Night. Everyone will be wondering what the old fart is screaming and slobbering about!