Here are some places you can safely hide your money fron crooks like the Government, the IRS and other crooks:
1. In an envelope taped to the bottom of your youngest kid if you have a babe. If not, how about under the cat box?
2. In a watertight plastic bottle or jar in the commode place it under some fake diahrrea. (Be sure this commode is the one never flushed).
3. In a skin-colored envelope taped to your ass or belly.
4. In a plastic bag of road kill in the freezer.
5. Under frozen mice kept for your big snake housed close to freezer.
6. In a wall safe behind a false back.
7. In a fake colostomy bag bag full for Baby Babe Ruth Candy Bars.
8. Under the crappy, stinking newspaper in the bird cage (unless bird talks. They'll sell you for a cracker).
9. Shave your head and place glued envelope under wig.
10. Among the 50 dust bunnies under your fridge.
11. Hide in your Aunt's 12-Year-old fruitcake. Offer the searchers a slice. They'll cut the hunt short, especially if you accidentally drop 50-pound fruitcake on foot.
12. Buried in a jar in the back yard of your neighbor when he goes on vacation. Even if they find it, they'll lock HIM up, not you.
Hope these 12 give you some good ideas. If you have gold. Melt it into brick shape, paint it color of house and use it to replace any loosed brick. Plenty of ideas but you better hurry.