Written by Harry Brooks
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Tags: Signs

Monday, 23 September 2013

I very often see signs that strike me as being very funny. For example there is a sign on a cart in the mall near where I live that reads; 'Ears pierced while you wait'. Is that opposed to leaving your ears while you go get a cup of coffee? Nearby there is another sign that reads; 'Children left unattended will be returned to their rightful parents.' I sure hope they get that one right.

Near a home for the blind in Newark N.J. there is this sign: 'Blind people, be aware of oncoming traffic.' Are they kidding me?

A Holiday Inn in the Pocono's has two signs on their front door. One sign reads: 'No pets allowed." Right below the other sign reads; 'All pets must be kept on a leash.' And on the way to the Pocono's on the Pa. Turnpike there is this sign. 'Rest area - No parking.'

In Ocean city N.J. there is a diner that has a sign in the window that reads: 'Open 24-7, closed on Monday.' And on the beach there is this one, 'Warning thieves on the beach. Do not leave valuables in your car.' I was confused. Who were they warning the thieves or the bathers? There is a discount mattress store in Ocean City with this sign: 'Don't go somewhere else and be cheated, shop here.' I guess they figure they can cheat you just as good there.

But a community in Las Vegas wins first prize. On the corner of an elementary school is this sign. 'Don't even think of speeding near our schools. If you do, we will find you, shoot you, and kill you.' Don't you just love that?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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