Written by rfreed
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Sunday, 15 September 2013

image for Syrian War Not Being Taken Syriously By Americans

The American psyche sometimes goes through amazing changes. 12 years ago we couldn't wait to get our hands on that ultimate harbinger of evil Saddam Hussein and his dire WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION (GASP!!!!!!!) and to send his bad self to an early destiny with Hell (the Muslim one, not the Christian). Now, faced with a man just as repugnant who REALLY DOES HAVE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION and HAS actually used them, we just can't be bothered and think we should not get involved.

Amazing......

It is just like the hippie attituded '60's are back upon us. Only instead of leftists with flowing beards and tie-dyed shirts it is right wingers (with the exception of McCain) singing "War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'! Uhhhh!"

What?

Where is all that volcanic vitriol that once wanted to send Shock and Awe throughout the Arab world? Where is that patriotic passion that once called for leaving Afghanistan and Iraq burning embers in the desert?

Is it because it is Obama's battle and not Bush's? You remember Bush don't you? The guy who started the Iraq War with the background help of incredibly adept propagandists selling the war to us like they were McDonald's hamburgers and moneyed backers seeing huge futures to be gained in armaments and oil takeovers? The one who caused us to spend billions in wasted dollars on the conflict that is now considered Obama's fault? Now its a battle over people dying and not profits so you are not interested? I understand. You only want wars that you guys start yourselves. An Obama War wouldn't make you guys look macho enough. I understand. And now the money that was so freely thrown about in Bush's War (yes, he started it) is now so precious. Again, I understand. You are assholes.

And what about the hatred thrown at the French when they wouldn't help with Operation Make Saddam A Scapegoat So We Can Take Over His Oil Fields? We called them cowards and ridiculed everything in their culture. Everybody couldn't get enough of French bashing. Remember calling french fries Freedom Fries with such vehemence that the spuds would get fired without even dropping them in the hot oil? Now they are the only ones willing to stand with us. Doesn't that make the bile rise in your throats? And about calling them cowards; weren't they the ones who came to our aid in the Revolutionary War, who were the only ones to send in the cavalry into the slaughter in Rwanda and to aid Algeria in the horrendous terrorist attack at their oil facility in the south?

Meanwhile the British are leaving us standing and no one is saying "Boo" about it. If you bitched about the French then it is only fair that you bitch about the British too. How about changing the name of fish and chips to "Quitting When The Chips Are Down" or "Fishin' Dips Shits" just to stab them with our American wit and piss them off for bailing on us? We could make fun of their believed icons. James Bond could be James Blond and we could make dumb blond jokes about him. Or Michael Caine. We could call him Michael Pain in the Arse and other such hilarious witticisms.

But no, we don't hear a peep about it. We don't have any trolls behind the scenes baiting people and fanning the flames of paper patriotic action these days. Come on Fox News! This is a chance to relive the glory days of the early 2000's when you were the big dog hell raisers of town! Where are you now? Silently counting the damage this does to Obama and keeping quiet hoping it will help your political ambitions?

Assad has used chemicals weapons and killed 1,400 of his own people and we are not outraged. "Oh, no! We don't want any trouble!" is our wimpy reply. Or is it that there is no oil in Syria so why should we bother making a fuss about them? Our passions for what is patriotic are often no deeper than a Bud commercial and are easily sidetracked by what ball game is on the TV at the moment. Obama was civic minded (and foolish enough) to put it to a vote before Congress which pretty much guarantees that another 100,000 Syrians will get slaughtered before they can make an effeminate decision. Would Bush and Cheney have done that? No, they would have said to hell with what people have to say! When we want them to think we will tell them what to think! And they would have plowed ahead with whatever carnage they wanted and that is just what they did. Doesn't anyone remember that? I thought so.

Best of all is the entry from that Russian Superman, Vladimir Putin, who rushed in to Syria's rescue. An op-ed in the New York Times. How classy! (Didn't think he was capable of it. Being classy, that is.) He hurried in warning us not to intervene and offers a peaceful possibility- putting Syria's chemical weapon stock before the eyes of the world to see. Yes, that valiant, deeply human example of diplomacy and chivalrous decency, the self-crowned new Czar, has come up with a proposal out of the goodness of his heart to save his buddy Assad. And this is coming from a country dripping with democratic good will and freedoms. The same one who decades before in their own war in Afghanistan booby-trapped toys with the intention to cripple the country they wanted to conquer by crippling their children first. Of course we should listen to this great gentlemen who has only the thought of true world brotherhood in his heart.

And what shall they do with the new, Divine mission before them? Play for time with we sappy Westerners while they hide the greater part of the weapons, kill as many non-compliant Syrians as possible and invent new sidetracks for us to mosey down while they get as much of their wealth out of the country as possible.

Meanwhile, since we are mostly concerned with only ourselves and our oil futures in this country, maybe it is a good time to look more seriously at the other prospects of alternative energy resources available. For instance, the amount of fake patriotic and political bullshit in the American consciousness at present is enough to power all of our playtoys into the next decade.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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