Written by ErHoff
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Thursday, 15 March 2007

Woodstock NY - In the courts last week we saw a twenty-two year old woman suing her mother for home schooling of her daughters. Lucy Palmms claims that her mother's refusal to allow her and her two sisters to attend public school, insisting that they be home schooled, has resulted in great detriment to their intellectual development, hence it was tantamount to child abuse.

"We believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny into adult hood. We thought that god made the world in six days that the Earth was the center of the universe. We were taught that once the world was flat then God made it round so Noah wouldn't sail off the edge. We weren't allowed to go to libraries or mix with kids that weren't from our church. I didn't even know what a condom was until I asked a workmate which cause the whole lunchroom to laugh." Cried Lucy.

Her suit is not just based on not being prepared for the world around her, but Lucy want to collect damages for the state that she was left to face the world, the mental anguish she suffers every day as an adult who was seen by many as a nice, polite, and an incredibly ignorant fool.

Her girlfriend Sandy Hoal, who traveled with her on the night of December 24, recants this: "Before our flight she was upset that the pilot might hit Santa Clause flying over America, she demanded to see the pilot, before take off, and chastised him for scheduling a flight so late that they risked running down the sleigh and the flying reindeer, she got very angry when the pilot chuckled at the outset. I got her back to her seat, and thought the rest of the flight would be quiet, until Lucy saw a lesbian couple kissing across the isle. She told me in a loud voice that 'they were going to hell; they weren't even getting a stop over in purgatory.' I was really nervous when I left Lucy in her seat alone while I took a trip to the mile high club with a guy I met just before getting on the plane."

During the first year that Lucy moved away from home, she said she felt like she was thrust into an unexplored world. Anytime that she was outside the home she before she was with her mom or family friends of like beliefs. A friend at work who Lucy had become close to had come up with an idea: that Lucy might take on a roommate, one that she could learn from.

Lucy liked that idea, however in reality, she went through 3 roommates the first year. That was before she met Bernice, a self-described 'prostitute with a touch of class'. Lucy's life sheltered life changed quickly. They spent hours watching videos from the library, from evolution to safe sex, from biology to astronomy, from procreation to sex for pleasure, and on to the prerogative of sexual politics.

Lucy now sees herself as in recovery, recovering from the puritanical religious delusion forced upon her in place of real knowledge of the world. It was when she wanted to bring her new knowledge to her younger sisters that her mother had forbid her to visit the house. Lucy told us: "My mother was and is today unreasonably authoritarian, I don't want my little sisters to go through what I did. When I first left home I felt like I crawled out from a rock, ignorant and naïve, I couldn't discuss movies, music, politics or anything except the Bible with any of my peers. And, you know what I found out, those that could discuss the Bible on my level were not the kind of people I wanted to hang around with for long."

She added: "Like in that song Bernice kept playing for me by Billy Joel "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the Sinners are much more fun"

"I love my mother, but I can no longer accept what she is doing to my sisters, I really feel that stifling their development is abuse. I think that they need to be acclimated to the world around them, in terms of science and diverse culture, and they need to have some fun too."


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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