Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 7 July 2013

image for A List of 10 Little Known Facts About Paula Deen Paula says she is so depressed she doesn't think she'll ever bake a peach cobbler pie again.

Paula Deen's Southern Fried Cooking World has collapsed around her quicker than a pile of Taco-Flavored Doritos around Kirstie Alley.

Deen has learned a pretty hard to swallow lesson about what the politically correct world of today will allow and will not allow.

And the ironic thing about it is she used a word; the "N" word that thousands of people use on a daily basis [i.e. rap singers, hip hop artists, athletes].

But the thing is that they are not lily-white Paula Deen and that appears to be what made the big difference.

If the Dixieland Darlin' had used the "R" word (redneck) or even the "H" word (honkie) she would probably still be in business today. But like Sara Lee says, "That's just the way the cookie crumbles."

A LIST OF 10 LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT PAULA DEEN

  1. Paula has a Shetland pony that she named Buttah.
  2. Deen originally spelled her name D-e-a-n but changed it to avoid confusion with Paula Dean, a notorious Atlanta hooker.
  3. In high school she was voted Girl Most Likely To Conceive Half A Dozen Young'uns.
  4. Paula has a tattoo of a spatula on the outside of her upper left thigh.
  5. The Southern lady says that she has only uttered the "F" word three times in her entire life.
  6. Deen still has a bra that she said was especially hand-made for her by Richard Simmons 17 years ago.
  7. Paula is proud of the fact that she received her nickname Dixie's Big Old Muffin Maker from Vice-President Joe Biden.
  8. Deen swears that she was the first television cooking show host to make Peanut Butter and Jellyfish Cornbread.
  9. Paula admits that she once told the skinny as a rail GOP mouthpiece Ann Coulter that she needed to stuff about two pounds of tater tots and fried okra down her throat to give herself a womanly figure.
  10. The ex-TV host says that she has visited every state but Alaska - she noted that she is just not a big fan of ice.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

102 readers are online right now!

Go to top