Written by joseph k winter
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Tags: NSA

Monday, 1 July 2013

image for NSA Leaks Causing Jihadi Types to Back Off Using Visa Cards and Skype NSA reports Jihadi Types Have Stopped Using This Locale for Secret Meetings

Unnamed, worried officials in Washington are saying recent leaks on NSA global surveillance are making it easier for militants and evildoers to avoid detection.

In the three weeks since the disclosures, according to CNN reporters intelligence specialists have already noticed the enemy is changing communication tactics.

More Washington disclosures have been sneaked out, showing how government sleuths have become aware of this change in jihadi type (JT) habits.

The change indicates the JT types are now savvy and changing their ways, and this will make it more difficult to bring them to the surface.

For example, a whistle has been blown to reveal a classified transcript of two individuals on skype characterized as JT1 and JT2.

JT1: Well, it's too bad. I've been enjoying this skype thing for our plots. Who would have thought they'd bug this type of equipment? I mean, come on--

JT2: I know, I know. I'm going to have to stop using my Visa card. And I just found this terrific sale with free two day shipping for pressure cookers!

JT1: Do you suppose they're tracking our cell phones? I don't think they'd go that far. Surely not.

JT2: Well, I don't know. Maybe we need to be a little more careful with this media stuff. My uncle says they could be listening. Although probably not.

JT1: I've heard it's mostly what we look up using Google. I hadn't realized we need to be careful with suspicious search terms. You know?

JT2: Like pressure cookers, nails, dog collars.

JT1: Dog collars?

JT2: Yeah, I'm thinking if we can't use the normal internet stuff we could send messages in secret compartments in dog collars. As with pit bulls. But now we can't look up dog collars anymore on that.

JT1: It's a set back. Plus we need to watch out on what we post in facebook, twitter, and youtube. They could be noticing.

JT1: Well what do we do now?

JT2: We have to change our systems so they can't connect the dots.

JT1: I already said that. So what have you got?

JT2: Look, I'll get back to you. How about morse code? They could have forgotten how to use it.

JT1: Only problem there is the word morse. Too much like Morsi in Egypt, a US ally. I mean do we want to draw their attention? That is the problem.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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