Written by joseph k winter
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Saturday, 29 June 2013

image for Aiding and Abetting at Sheremetyevo Airport Part 2 General Nicolas Orlov of the FSB at Sheremetyevo Airport

Hello again, Pepe Warezabar for The Guard Dog covering the action at Sheremetyevo Airport.

First, I want to thank all the tweets recommending the GGSR program (the Glenn Greenwald Spine-Building for Reporters program). I have acquired it and am already into it.

But let's get up to date on high drama at this airport just this afternoon as we reporters swirled around in here and seemed to become a target.

That is, an MSM worker from The New York Daily News, Jorge Mealworth, discovered his mask* had gone missing, and immediately concluded Edward Snowden (or Edward Hoedown, a recent alias) had somehow gotten hold of it.

(*This mask is depicted in yesterday's "Aiding and Abetting at Sheremetyevo Airport"--part 1 of this report).

Panic and something like a riot was occurring with these MSM reporters in their orange jumpsuits hunting for the mask among terminal passengers. Then the inevitable happened.

Directed by General Nicolas Orlov, the FSB arrived inside the terminal in their miniature tanks and humvees which immediately caused chaos with people fleeing and hiding. This reporter couldn't help noticing "Made in USA" on the rears of this mini-war equipment.

Out of the muzzles and snouts of these vehicles poured a long sort of white smoke which immediately reduced terminal crowds to immobilized on the linoleum. One witness later described the effect as "a state of going zomboid, not entirely unpleasant."

Amidst the melee one Viktor Boguslavsky, of Moscow, was found wearing a New York Daily News reporter's mask. He stated that he wanted to defect to America with a load of encrypted data on the FSB in several packs of thumb drives found in his boots.

This reporter was caught up in the wild action inside Sheremetyevo Airport, and at one point I caught a glimpse of Edward Snowden/Hoedown in coveralls with straw hat (blade of hay still in his mouth) beckoning with crooked finger.

Obviously obscure, with the attention now on Mr. Boguslavsky, the NSA fugitive Snowden was again attempting to lure me as reporter into his clutches and the dangers of aiding and abetting.

This time, however, I believe my action will bring at least some positive tweets. I decided that in terms of conscience (let alone honoring the Glenn Greenwald Spine-Building for Reporters program), I must choose from these options:

*accompany him directly to an obscure lounge terminal and take notes on what he wanted to reveal to me

*run away as quickly as possible in the direction of airport cafes and bars for a well-deserved snack

*get on my cell phone to contact my boss at The Guard Dog so I could lay all future responsibility for my actions on him.

I leave it to devoted followers to discern which action I, plausibly and cleanly, actually went ahead with.

~~

UPDATING (16:53): I just want to thank those tweets indicating option 3 (and especially those few on option 1!), plus update right now that option 2 is in play given the need to think over and select just the right choice. These days it's more what NOT to report. So it's a very important decision. I think all MSM personnel would back me up on that.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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