Written by joseph k winter
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Tags: Syria

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

image for Pepe Warezabar Interviews Jabhat al-Nusra

Deep in a very dry place, underneath a rock, lizards scuttling, our man Pepe Warezabar caught up with a member of one of the rebel factions in Syria, who insisted on remaining anonymous.

Pepe began philosophically.

"So, then, how strange it must be that the Americans are now coming to your aid against Assad!"

"Not strange! Not strange! They do say, 'Politics makes strange bedfellows.' But that's only until you look under the covers."

"You mean you have similar goals with the Americans?"

"Control. That's all. Is that asking so much? We jihadis are looking to control the region in our own interests. And that's what the Americans are doing! Isn't it?"

"As with Libya? Is there any kind of parallel here?"

"Oh, yes. Hand in hand with all those rebel militias, you know, our comrades. We now rule Libya, and the Americans and Brits helped us with this success! Definitely!"

"So, then, you mean . . . I must say . . . I'm not clear . . ."

"Who is? It's all in the hands of Allah anyway, isn't it? Not to worry. Do the Americans worry? I don't think so. John McCain even had his photograph taken with some of us recently, arm around our necks."

"But Obama seems reticent."

"He will come around. We are confident. We have been sending gift bouquets to Susan Rice and we hope McCain will come back for a big party in the desert. We have a special barbecue planned."

"What kind of meat?"

"Oh that. Don't worry. From the heartland! We only use the healthiest specimens, triple AAA certified. Even Vladimir Putin would find it tasty."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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