QM-NewsCorpse reporters have been given unprecedented access to the Bureau's legendary decoding unit that uses numerological, linguistic and symbological tricks to piece together terror suspects' agendas.
Here is a brief glance at its anagram division's profile of key players involved in the Boston Marathon bombings:
Tamerlan Tsarnaev anagrams to Relevant Satan Arm - a reflection of the Chechen's devilish agenda
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev anagrams to Thanks! Hazard Over - indicative, perhaps, of a 'See No Evil, Do No Evil' attitude
Chief suspects' kith and kin:
The father: Anzor Tsarnaev anagrams to Tarzan von Arse - a tree swinger with Germanic roots, maybe
The mother: Zubeidat Tsarnaeva anagrams to Buena Vista Rat Daze - a stunned Walt Disney fan??
Boston Marathon anagrams to Moron, Both Satan - an implication that both brothers were responsible.
The big guns:
Federal Bureau of Investigation anagrams to If Found Alive, Abuse, Interrogate!
Central Intelligence Agency anagrams to Neglectingly Anal Reticence