Written by Bick Parker

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Klingon Poetry Contest!
by Bick Parker in Los Angeles

The first ever annual Klingon Poetry Convention
was held here in Los Angeles over the weekend,
at the plush Beverley Hilton Hotel.
The Convention was a sell-out, with more than
1500 devotees of Klingon verse in attendance.
There were competitions and prizes to be won,
the overall winner receiving a grand total of $1000
in cash, a gold-plated Klingon statuette, and last but
not least - a book publishing contract!
The undisputed Klingon poet laureate of 2006
was selected by a panel of leading contemporary
US poets, who finally chose 44-year-old Zackery Scott,
a TV engineer from Big Rock, Arizona This master of
verse penned:

Foo! Ladchoo!

Ga gah-hoo! Hichu! Gavoo!
(We should date, my beauty!)
Aarh bhu-tu buo! Taka! Chat Ho!
(But we live so very far apart,)
Krak ha cha-cha charh! Uvah!
(I really want to kiss you)
Uvah gakkin du-vied gart!
(You cracking blue-eyed tart!)

Fair enough, Keats or Wordsworth it isn't. But it might just become popular given time. Let's be honest, stranger things than this have gone before....

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