Written by CaptainSausage

Print this

Monday, 1 April 2013

image for Benefit changes come into effect Benefits: who benefits?

Across the UK there was outrage today among benefit fans, when long-expected changes to the benefits system came into place.

"I'm outraged," said deceased political activist Spencer Perceval. "This has completely destroyed the benefits system as we know it. Don't they realise that by making small changes that I barely understand but completely disapprove of, the system will cease to exist at all. I don't even know what country I'm living in any more. Oh, it's still Britain?"

Unemployed mother of 20 Hilda Sleeve was also upset. "I'm going to have to send another one of my kids to the workhouse just to pay for the extra spaghetti hoops I'm being taxed. But then my eldest is 25, it's about time he got a job."

Political analyst Herman Perineum was convinced that the changes would bring about the end of the welfare state. "The only way benefits work is if the costs spiral upwards at an unsustainable rate every year. By breaking that link, the system is likely to collapse and bring about the Rapture."

The government has responded by accusing left-wing media outlets of rabble-rousing, and sending their readers into a hate-filled frenzy over the changes. One newspaper even had a competition "How much dung would you like to sling at the Prime Minister?", with the winner getting to actually fill a bucket with his desired amount. The winner would not actually be able to fling the dung as that would be illegal.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this


Go to top