Shirley Knott: HOLLYWOOD - Moi dahlinks, what is up with our new best breakdown, Britney Spears? Her Sinéad O'Connor twinfest is becoming tedious, and Moi recently read that she was hung.
Pull out those dictionaries, dahlinks, or next they'll have our petite pop tart undergoing gender reassignment.
In other Spearsome news, it's being reported that Britney is chafing at rehab. Well! If she get some decent silk underwear, that chafing problem would d-i-s-a-p-p-e-a-r! Let us all break our mad money piggy banks and send our Britney underclothes worthy of her status. (And include a tin of of that marvelous Bag Balm, simply the best anti-itch remedy - let's hear it for soft skin!)
And can anyone believe that hubby Kev is finally realizing the worth of his winsome wife? Announcing recently that she wanted to have another baby with Kevboy to "cement our marriage," Moi must recommend that Kev remain on the lookout for flying saucers.
Remember to send Moi your Britney Spears sightings, dahlinks! The more, the merrier!