Written by David Grant
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Sunday, 9 December 2012

image for This is a Good Day to Laugh Klingon Litter Warning (Translated)

Those might be the Words spoken by a Klingon when replying to Star Trek skeptic P. R. Nickerty. His latest book Klingons Could Never Form a Civilization has created uproar among dedicated Trekologists.

Mr. Nickerty, who has a killjoy rating of 9 with my colleagues has written yet another book that he claims is "well researched".

He says in his book, "The aggressive nature of the Klingon personality would produce a society that viewed a club as high technology. They would never stop killing one another long enough even to develop language, let alone bother to communicate ideas with each other."

He claims, "That is one of the problems you get when you do not have the imagination to create a civilization of diverse personalities. Each Klingon is the same as every other Klingon, just as each Romulan has the same haircut as every other Romulan."

He gave a scenario where a Klingon goes to see his doctor about a medical problem. He suggests that the doctor would call him a coward for "klinging-on" to life instead of killing himself.

The Klingon concept of "Honor" seems to involve elevating yourself by killing a superior. Again this is not good for social cohesion.

He couldn't imagine anyone in this warrior race wanting to perform the menial tasks of essential workers. "Can anyone imagine a Klingon being content as a garbage collector or toilet cleaner or bank teller?" he asks.

Of course the devastating reply to Mr Nickerty is that Warf was different to other Klingons. So they are not all the same, and with that I say, "Qapla!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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