Written by John_L
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Monday, 3 December 2012

image for Christmas Gifts 1952 from Lemco Lemco's double lead paint coated asbestos bauble

With the holiday season soon to be on us its time to look at Christmas gifts for all the family.

Mom: Moms live to iron so what better gift to give than a brand new Lemco ironing board. If that was what you got for Mom last year then this year you should top it off with a nice floral print Lemco asbestos ironing board cover. Moms everywhere will be looking forward to a New Year full of ironing.

Dad: Dan is the master of the house and the master of the house is the king of the TV. With a new Lemco remote control unit Dad can change the channel without ever having to get out of his Lemco reclining arm chair. Dads work so hard that they deserve two gifts so why not get Dad a Lemco asbestos Pipe Rack. Guaranteed to out live you!

Little Jimmy: Little Jimmy has a Lemco boat and a Lemco pedal car. But does Little Jimmy have a Lemco Atom Bomb. Made from tin with double lead pain the ride on Lemco Atom bomb is just what every boy needs to play Nuclear War!

Little Janie: Little girls love to help Mom around the house so why not get Little Janie her own child size Lemco Ironing board with free Lemco asbestos cover and a working hot iron. Now Little Janie can really help Mom with the housework.

Baby James: It's his first Christmas so what better gift than a Lemco mobile with Atom Bomb and Mushroom clouds. Coated in Lemco's patented double lead paint it can be converted into a teething ring when Baby James gets his first teeth. Coupled with Lemco's asbestos pacifier the perfect start in life for any child.

Grandma and Grandpa: Lets face Grandma and Grandpa do not have many Christmases so why not buy them a Lemco double casket. They have spent their lives together so why not spend the afterlife side by side. If one goes before the other the Lemco double casket comes with his and hers cyanide pills.

Remember this Christmas Lemco has it all!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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