Bill: Hello there, and welcome to Fly Fishing. My name's Bill Palmer.
Kenneth: And I'm Kenneth Purves.
B: We're here at Dorking Reservoir again, but this time we're not birdwatching. We're standing here in our thigh-highs, grasping our rods firmly with our tackle dangling in the water. Hopefully we'll get a nibble from some passing trout, or even something more exotic.
K: Yes, that's right Bill, we're angling live on the radio.
B: You know how it works by now. When we see a fish, we call it out so that we have a record of all the amazing creatures living in the water here.
K: And we call them out regardless of whether we catch them or not. I think I can feel something already. There must be a tiddler between my legs.
B: You can say that again, Ken. But I don't see nothing on your line.
K: It's a bit quiet at the moment. When that happens we usually just have a bit of a chat.
B: That's right, Ken. You know, when I got home last night, I couldn't believe how much my wife...
B: So it is. Well spotted, Ken. No, my wife, I couldn't believe how much she wanted to cook fish for me. You know how she's such a good...
B: You're on fire today, that's two fish you've spotted. My wife is a great cook, and she wanted me to give her a good sized fish from the lake today. She's going to bake it.
K: That sounds tasty.
B: Yes but she says she wants a big one. There's no leaving tonight until we get our hands on a whopper.
K: A tench!
B: Now, now, I hope you're not talking about your boyfriend again. You know I find that disgusting.
K: You shouldn't be so homophobic. You think us gays don't have a...
K: Not quite that. You think we don't have a right to express ourselves.
K: It's true.
B: They're covered in dirt there, that's typical for a bottom feeder.
K: How dare you! But isn't it true you don't believe in...
K: You don't believe in gay marriage?
B: I never said that. I just think it involves too many...
B: Anyway, did I tell you I'm going shopping for a new car tomorrow?
K: Oh, that's right. Your old one got...
K: Crushed by a monster truck I thought.
B: That's right, my wife was in the passenger seat at the time. I thought it would...
B: Yes. But she was fine. She was more worried about a dose of...
B: A dose of flu she had.
B: Now you're being offensive.
K: What type of car are you going to get?
K: Nice. Well I haven't been out with my Bernard for ages. We've just been too...
B: Tyre! With screws.
K: No, too busy. He's got a new job as a...
K: As a chef. He does a good job of preparing his meat, let me tell you. He never cuts his...
K: No, his fingers while he's got his chopper out. You know, I'm not having much luck catching anything. I might try another bait. Have you got the box?
B: No, I thought you were the bait master tonight.
K: Oh, you stupid...
K: We have no more maggots! I can't believe you're so...
K: We're not exactly having a whale of a time here without any bait. I'm going home.