Written by Auntie Matter
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Tuesday, 13 November 2012

image for Bookies Offering New Odds on Armageddon The Goal?

Several UK Bookmakers have spread their interest in the latest developments in the Savile case. They are now offering odds on the following:

(1) Many Freemasons and some of those who run their organization particularly those living in Scotland are corrupt. 1/10

(2) Many lawyers and barristers operating in the UK and some judges and their peers are corrupt. 1/10

(3) Many working in the Secret Services such as MI5 and MI6 and some of those who supervise them are corrupt. 1/10000000000000000000000.

(4) Some politicians are corrupt.1/10.

(5) Some peers are corrupt. 1/10.

(6) Some members of Cameron's government are corrupt. 1/10.

(6) Some members of the royal family are corrupt. 1/10.

(7) Many members of the clergy and some of their hierarchy are corrupt. 1/10000000000000.

(8) Many workers in broadcasting including mainline television and some of those in executive positions are corrupt. 1/10.

(9) Many workers in the entertainment and film industries and some of those in executive positions are corrupt. 1/10.

(10) Many workers in the music industry and some of those in executive positions are corrupt. 1/10.

(11) Many workers in legal firms and some of those in executive legal positions are corrupt. 1/10.

(12) Many workers in the publishing industry and some of those in managerial positions therein are corrupt. 1/10.

(13) Many workers in the pharmaceutical industries and some of those in executive positions are corrupt. 1/10.

(14) Many workers in the building industry and some of those in executive positions are corrupt. 1/10.

(15) Many workers in the social services and some of those in executive positions are corrupt. 1/10.

(16) Many workers in education and some of those in executive positions are corrupt. 1/10.

(17) Many of those in influential positions in every aspect of UK public life are corrupt and many of those who belong to the power elites are corrupt. 1/10000000000000000000.

(18) Many of these will escape without either prosecution or investigation because many of those most empowered to either investigate or prosecute them are totally corrupt. 1/10000000000000000000.

(19) There is hope for us. 1/10.

(20) There is no hope for us. 1/100.

(22) The moral lobby will prevail and the UK will clean up its mess and everybody and their children will feel secure wherever they go knowing that the right men are in the right jobs doing the right thing. 1/100000000000000000000000

(21) The goal pursued by the corrupt is to make us all as corrupt as they are so that they can have an endless supply of corruptees to feed their infinite appetite for evil 1/1.

(22) Government, media, culture, education, etc, etc, etc, play no part whatsoever in achieving this goal. 1/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.

(23) When it is achieved we will have Armageddon. 1/100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.


Mr. Paddy White owner of "Punt-On-Anything" one of the most profitable UK betting firms said: "These are damn good odds let me say." Asked why they were so generous he replied with a chuckle. "Well, who are we going to get to prove "yea" or "nay" in each category? And of course the word "many" is what determines the odds. Punters can suggest a number and we can quote them a price. Asked why most of the odds are consistently 1/10 he replied; "Well there are ten commandments and few, if any, of these bastards have ever attempted more than one in their entire lives. Their secret goal is to ensure that we all die in the spirit to be reborn in the flesh. But we can't offer any odds on that as we are almost there; and there will be no payouts after Armageddon. You could say they are mostly fun bets... except for Armageddon."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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