John Bercow will have a tough time keeping the lid on parliament questions this week as steamy new texts are revealed between PM David Cameron and Rebekuh Brooks, she of the flowing chesnut mane, and recent phone hacking scandals.
The texts reveal alleged salacious details after the pair joined up for some spirited bare back riding in the idyllic British country side.
Here are just a few of the texts that will have all of Britain talking in the coming weeks:
Cam: Wow! Wot a ride. I had to hang on with both hands...luckily there was plenty to grab a holt of!
Reb: And you used to make fun of me riding 'side saddle!' LOL
Cam: You set a nice pace, but I really enjoyed the gallup home to the barn!
Reb: The gait is the thing! Trick is never to rush a good ride in the woods. No sense being rushed, you always git home in the end. It was a barn burner, indeed, eh?
Cam: Grass stains may be hard to explain!
Reb: No Prob! She should know you have a habit of falling off!
Cam: Looking forward to our next ride after I practice a bit more.
Reb: Me too. Bring your spurs for better control and to show me when to speed up, I'll follow your lead!
Cam: Not used to this...ache all over...in a good way!
Reb: I'll bring some lotion next time to ease the pain...mind the slippery slope!
Cam: Ha! Your juices seem to flow quite well, though. Been fantasying again about those intimate "interviews" with that moron Piers?
Reb: Just happy to have a real stud in the barn at #10! Gordon was a gelding,
despite acting the big P******k!
Cam: Still thinking about you! Went to lunch today and left Sam behind at the pub!
Reb: Ha! That's wot happens when you 'mind the gap!"
Cam: Surprised to find you really are Ginger All Over! Gobsmacked!
Reb: Better Red than Dead in Bed!
Cam: Tally Ho!