Written by anthonyrosania
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Sunday, 4 November 2012

image for Hurricane Sandy Takes Gigantic Shit On US East Coast and It's All Your Fault. Above: Worlds Worst Yin-Yan Tattoo.

Hurricane Sandy Takes Gigantic Shit On US East Coast and It's All Your Fault.

1) Browbeating Jersey Shore cast members and Jersey Mike's via Twitter isn't the same as actually helping fellow New Jerseyans. 

2) I wish I was as motivated to be a community advocate and humanitarian even if there weren't flattened houses in my neighborhood. That's a character defect I intend to rectify. 

3) As much as I hate to write anything positive about him, Governor Cris Christie has demonstrated genuine crisis management ability and practical and timely executive-branch leadership. Gelatinous self-righteous turd that he is.

3a) On the other hand, when you tour the devastation in Atlantic City then beat-feet up Route 87 to hold the press conference in Brigantine, it sends a message. 

3b) Write this on a rock: The 2012 Presidential Election's result will be litigated. 

i) Romney and Obama were in a virtual dead heat going into last weekend, just before Hurricane Sandy took a giant shit on the head of 60 million decidedly left-leaning Americans. Advantage: Romney. 

ii) The National Guard is expected to be used to deliver and police temporary polling places in areas devastated by Sandy. Since the National Guard is the only branch of the military controlled at state level, I am sure certain Governors will be accused of manipulating them to influence the vote. 

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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