Written by solomon
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Tags: Cast, Hawaii, soap

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Whatever happened to the cast of "Soap Girl" which played at the Laemmle Fairfax Theater in 2001 and at the Wallace Arthouse Theater in Hawaii in 2002 for an unprecedented four week run before it finally closed down?

Kerry Liu (Maya) is currently flipping burgers for Abbott's Habit when she realized it was a pizza parlor. This was the second such similar incident in her career after delivering pizza for Wackenhut for four weeks, when she was finally told it was a security company.

Gina Hiraizumi (Asia) can be seen in the cult classic "The Devil in Miss Mojambo" currently being screened on the backs of garage doors in Super 8mm all over Southern California and parts of the Appalachians. She delivers a heavy, breathtaking performance worthy of an Oscar in the climax of the film. Correction, she climaxes with an Oscar amidst heavy breathing.

Dennis Lee (Producer/Teddy Song) is starting a new production company in Hawaii after absconding over $20,000 from his former colleagues in Hollywood. After his film, "D-War" failed to become anything more than a steaming cheese-filled turd, he looks forward to ripping off the clueless film producers of Hawaii, since no one really believes news reports of Hollywood producers anyway.

Tony Young (Writer) lives out of his car outside a low-rent film studio where he interviews unemployed independent filmmakers in front of a green painted wall. He served twenty days doing community service and is proud not to have domestic violence on his record as this gives him the opportunity to write sappy romantic comedy because he truly is a moral upstanding citizen who would never think of consorting with prostitutes despite having written a film about them.

Jasmine Kang (Sooki) is dating her way up the Hollywood social ladder, and if she plays her cards right, will become a successful producer in her own right. She was last seen with a wealthy Korean banker at a Dungeon party being led into a dark room with a donkey where she repeatedly screamed "Shim Shim Rhee, Shim Shim Rhee!" This is Korean for, "I've consumed too much kim chee and now I have explosive diarrhea!"

Mari Tanaka (Yuko) is touring Nashville in a national theater company, performing "Oh Calcutta 2000." She is particularly good in her solo number where she jumps naked in a twenty-first century version of a Woodstock.

Kate Holliday (Sammy) was last seen as a butt double for Kate Winslet in "Children of Men," only to be told Winslet was never in the film.

Ginni Ramos (Kalani) works for a software company and is currently dating Howard K. Stern who has a very keen interest in Silicone Valley.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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